Appreciating What We Have

     I've written before about some of the research that's been done examining the most common attributes of happy people.  Two of the attributes that consistently make the list are practicing kindness and showing gratitude.  From time to time this year I've tried to remind myself to slow down and feel and express gratitude.  Sometimes this is verbal and other times it takes the form of a thank you note.  Today it was the latter.

     I was enjoying playing golf on yet another spectacular September day and was appreciating the fabulous course conditions we have at my home course, Riverton Country Club.  While most courses ought to be in great shape given the recent good weather, not all, in fact, are.  It seems to me that Riverton is almost always in better than shape than most of the surrounding courses, regardless of the weather.  And this is true despite budget challenges and issues we have with water allocation.  I believe the credit for this goes to our golf course superintendent.

     Being a golf course superintendent is often one of those thankless jobs.  Everyone believes they're an expert on turf management and tree care, and they're not hesitant to whine and complain about why the course isn't one way or another.  In contrast, I just enjoy what's there and appreciate the work that goes into making it so nice.  Tonight, I sent a handwritten letter to our superintendent thanking him for his great work and letting him know how much I appreciate all that he does to keep our course in such great shape.  I'm not sure how often he gets thanked, but I'm guessing not very often.

     My anecdotal observations seem to confirm what the research shows:  happy people spend much less time complaining and much more time being thankful than do unhappy people.  The funny thing to me is that which we you see the world is entirely a personal choice.  Why would you choose to see things in a way that makes you unhappy?  I make happy choices each and every day.

A Round of Golf

     As I mentioned in yesterday's post, my wife and I hosted our annual family reunion this past weekend; and as one might imagine, lots of family have been around over the past week.  My parents have been staying with us, and my sister and her husband have also been in town from Arizona, staying with one of my brothers.  While I'm about the only golfer in my immediate family, my brother-in-law enjoys golf almost as much as I do, so we try to play whenever we're together.

     During the 5-6 days that he's been visiting, we've managed to get out to play 3 times, including today.  It's been my pleasure to host him at my club each of those times.  While it's not inexpensive to do, it's nice to be able to invite a friend (or relative) to enjoy a great round of golf and not have them pay anything.  It truly is one of those times where it's better to give than to receive.  

     I find that trying to keep a strict accounting of who pays for what or trying to make sure that everyone has paid his fair share is tiring and no fun.  It feels much better to be generous and to know that it all evens out in the end.  A great example of this philosophy, on an admittedly small scale, is the way we handle food and snacks at the "halfway house" at our club.  

     Sitting at the counter is a cup with 5 die in it.  Members will typically agree to "roll" to see who pays.  Each member rolls the cup of die and the member who rolls the lowest total number pays for everyone's snacks that day.  No one worries about who got a hot dog and who only got a Powerade.  And no one worries about who paid the last time.  It's much simpler this way, and we all figure that at the end of the year we each will likely have paid for an appropriate amount.  

     In all of these areas, I'd rather err on the side of generosity.

     

Time and Kindness

     This morning was our official "opening day" tournament at the club where I play golf, Riverton Country Club.  The tournament was to start at 8:30 and so I wanted to be there by 7:45 to hit some balls and warm up first.  Unfortunately, after all the flight delays I had last night, I didn't arrive home until around 1:15 a.m., so I was moving pretty slowly this morning.  By the time I left my house it was already pushing 8:00.  I had thought about buying a whole bunch of hot pretzels to give to all the caddies but that would have taken me in the opposite direction and I wasn't sure I could make it in time.

     Fortunately, there's a Dunkin' Donuts on the way to the club, so I stopped in there and bought a ton of those "munchkin" donut holes for them to enjoy.  When I swung into the bag drop area, I gave them to one of the caddies and he put them in the "shack" where they gather before going on the course.  It wasn't a big deal -- just a simple gesture of appreciation for their efforts.

     As I was driving toward the club debating whether or not I had time to get pretzels, donuts, or nothing at all, it occurred to me how much time can factor into our willingness to be kind.  Often, when we're rushing, not only do we not want to take the time to go out of our way to help another person, but we're often annoyed at others because they become obstacles slowing us down from getting where we're trying to go.  If I had seen someone with a flat tire, or someone who needed a ride, or even just directions, I might not have stopped to help because I was behind schedule.  However, if I saw the same need but had plenty of time, I would be much more likely to stop and offer my help.  

     I tend to be pretty careful about punctuality and making sure I'm where I say I'll be when I say I'll be there.  However, I often seem to be pushing the envelope because I end up leaving my house just a shade later than I intend.  This doesn't allow much room for unexpected kindness.  I'll be curious to see how my response to kindness opportunities changes when I do a better job of giving myself more time.