Appreciating What We Have

     I've written before about some of the research that's been done examining the most common attributes of happy people.  Two of the attributes that consistently make the list are practicing kindness and showing gratitude.  From time to time this year I've tried to remind myself to slow down and feel and express gratitude.  Sometimes this is verbal and other times it takes the form of a thank you note.  Today it was the latter.

     I was enjoying playing golf on yet another spectacular September day and was appreciating the fabulous course conditions we have at my home course, Riverton Country Club.  While most courses ought to be in great shape given the recent good weather, not all, in fact, are.  It seems to me that Riverton is almost always in better than shape than most of the surrounding courses, regardless of the weather.  And this is true despite budget challenges and issues we have with water allocation.  I believe the credit for this goes to our golf course superintendent.

     Being a golf course superintendent is often one of those thankless jobs.  Everyone believes they're an expert on turf management and tree care, and they're not hesitant to whine and complain about why the course isn't one way or another.  In contrast, I just enjoy what's there and appreciate the work that goes into making it so nice.  Tonight, I sent a handwritten letter to our superintendent thanking him for his great work and letting him know how much I appreciate all that he does to keep our course in such great shape.  I'm not sure how often he gets thanked, but I'm guessing not very often.

     My anecdotal observations seem to confirm what the research shows:  happy people spend much less time complaining and much more time being thankful than do unhappy people.  The funny thing to me is that which we you see the world is entirely a personal choice.  Why would you choose to see things in a way that makes you unhappy?  I make happy choices each and every day.

Time and Kindness

     This morning was our official "opening day" tournament at the club where I play golf, Riverton Country Club.  The tournament was to start at 8:30 and so I wanted to be there by 7:45 to hit some balls and warm up first.  Unfortunately, after all the flight delays I had last night, I didn't arrive home until around 1:15 a.m., so I was moving pretty slowly this morning.  By the time I left my house it was already pushing 8:00.  I had thought about buying a whole bunch of hot pretzels to give to all the caddies but that would have taken me in the opposite direction and I wasn't sure I could make it in time.

     Fortunately, there's a Dunkin' Donuts on the way to the club, so I stopped in there and bought a ton of those "munchkin" donut holes for them to enjoy.  When I swung into the bag drop area, I gave them to one of the caddies and he put them in the "shack" where they gather before going on the course.  It wasn't a big deal -- just a simple gesture of appreciation for their efforts.

     As I was driving toward the club debating whether or not I had time to get pretzels, donuts, or nothing at all, it occurred to me how much time can factor into our willingness to be kind.  Often, when we're rushing, not only do we not want to take the time to go out of our way to help another person, but we're often annoyed at others because they become obstacles slowing us down from getting where we're trying to go.  If I had seen someone with a flat tire, or someone who needed a ride, or even just directions, I might not have stopped to help because I was behind schedule.  However, if I saw the same need but had plenty of time, I would be much more likely to stop and offer my help.  

     I tend to be pretty careful about punctuality and making sure I'm where I say I'll be when I say I'll be there.  However, I often seem to be pushing the envelope because I end up leaving my house just a shade later than I intend.  This doesn't allow much room for unexpected kindness.  I'll be curious to see how my response to kindness opportunities changes when I do a better job of giving myself more time.