I Tried

     I was in Fort Lauderdale this evening and didn't get to my hotel until around 7:30 or so.  Since this was one of those rare nights on the road that I was not able to arrange to meet a friend (he wasn't available!), soon after I checked in I got back in my car to look for someplace to get a bite to eat.  As I pulled up to an intersection and the light turned red, I noticed a disheveled looking man standing on the side of the road holding a sign that had some sort of plea for help.  He was walking among the cars looking for handouts.  I was in the middle lane, so he didn't come past my car, but as I sat there I kept thinking that I ought to at least give him something.  I rolled down my window to try to get his attention, but the light changed before he ever saw me.

     As I pulled away, I kept thinking about this man.  "Beggars" like this always present an interesting dilemma.  On the one hand, the man could simply be a scam artist.  And who knows what decisions led him to this place?  On the other hand, does it really matter?  At some level, he certainly needed help or he wouldn't be there.  And while I'm not in any position to solve whatever his life problems may be, I can certainly at least make today a little better.

     So after I got something to eat, I noticed that there was a Subway sandwich shop across the street from where I had originally seen the man.  I stopped in and bought a $10 gift card to give to the man so he could get something to eat.  The problem, however, was that I he was no longer on the street corner where I had previously seen him!  I drove up and down the road a bit in each direction to see if I could catch him, but he was nowhere to be found.

     So now I have a Subway gift card that I'll carry in my wallet, looking for just the right recipient.

Water for the Tired

     On Sunday morning, I'm running the Rock 'N Roll 1/2 marathon in Philadelphia.  With thousands of people running, all participants were required to pick up their number and race packet either today or tomorrow, so I went in to take care of that this afternoon.  I was able to park a few blocks away from the Pennsylvania Convention Center and walked over to the race headquarters. On my way, I noticed an old, impoverished looking man leaning against a building, staring somewhat aimlessly out into the world.  To call him a beggar would be incorrect, since he didn't appear to even have the energy to beg.  He was just sitting/standing there and I had the sense he could easily have been there all day.

     When I left the Runners' Expo roughly 45 minutes later and started to walk toward where I had parked my car, I noticed that the man was still there, in the same spot, looking just as tired and aimless.  I checked my wallet to see if I had any McDonald's or other gift cards with me, but I only had a Starbucks one.  Somehow, I didn't see him meandering his way into a Starbucks to order a latte.  He had such a vacant look to him that I honestly wasn't sure I'd be able to explain to him what a gift card was for, and so I continued on.

     I had only gone another 1/2 block or so when I realized what I could easily do for him.  I went across the street to a Wawa and bought a bottle of cold water.  Then I went back to where he was standing and gave it to him.  He looked at me and gave me a nod and said "thanks."  I simply told him to enjoy it and continued on to my car.

     As I headed home to Moorestown I was thinking about how much I enjoy the quiet, anonymous acts of kindness like these.  He doesn't know who I am and almost certainly never will.  He probably won't even tell anybody about it.  There was no fanfare and it didn't change the world - except for maybe his world. Who knows what impact a small, simple act of kindness might have on him?

Follow-up note:  The other day I wrote about going to Rita's and paying for a water ice for the next customer.  I stopped in this afternoon for another water ice and the same guy, Hunter, happened to be working, so I asked him what happened.  He said that he waited for just the right person and it ended up to be a guy who was a parole officer.  He was touched, but said it wouldn't be easy for him to be nice to someone else because he spent most of his day putting people in jail!  Hopefully he was able to find a way to pay it forward.

     

Helping and Happiness

     As I was driving to an appointment this morning, I found myself in a line of cars stopped at a traffic light.  Along the median that divided the two sides of the street walked a man holding up a sign that said "I'm hungry.  Please help."  While I've often ignored these people in the past, today I wanted to help.  As I was about to pull out my wallet though, the light began to change.  Unfortunately there was no safe place for me to pull over without causing an accident and so I missed the chance to help him.  Two good things did happen, however.

     First, a person two cars in front of me rolled down his window and handed the man a banana and what looked like a muffin.  It was probably the driver's breakfast and it was so cool to see him offer it to the beggar instead.  Second, I was inspired by yet another example of the generosity that truly is prevalent, and yet, so often goes unnoticed and unreported.  It made me even more determined to be on the lookout today for opportunities to serve.  And sure enough, just such an opportunity presented itself within a couple of hours.

     On the way home from my appointment, I pulled into the parking lot of my local Wegmans to pick up a couple of items.  As I approached the store, I noticed a woman with one child on her hip and 2 other small children in tow, trying to get them all loaded into her minivan, along with a shopping cart filled with groceries.  I hesitated for just a moment, not wanting to frighten her, and then said to her, "Excuse me, ma'am.  Can I give you a hand loading all these groceries into your car?"  Not sure quite what to make of me, she also hesitated a moment but then said "Sure," as she certainly had her hands full.

     She had 10 or 12 plastic grocery bags to be unloaded and it probably took me no more than 2 minutes or so before I was done.  By that time her kids were safely seated in the minivan and she turned to thank me.  She looked somewhat quizzically at me and asked if I worked there.  I told her that I didn't and that I just saw that she looked like she could use some help and wanted to be of assistance, as I remember what it was like to have small children.  This seemed to surprise her (in a good way) and she thanked me several more times.  I had the feeling she was going to go home and tell her friends and family, "Wait till you hear what happened to me at Wegmans today!"

     It was so fun to offer unexpected help to a stranger, and it surely left me feeling happier and more energetic.  Several times this year I've mentioned some of the research that suggests that practicing regular kindness is one of the most common attributes of the happiest people.  I definitely understand this in a more visceral way, not just in an intellectual way.  It's strange how it works, but it absolutely does.  Maybe we're biologically wired that way intentionally.  I'm really not sure, but I can anecdotally say that nearly everyone I know reports that they feel happier when they are kind to others - a thought well worth pondering - and putting into action.