The Year Is Complete

     Well, today was day number 369 (366 days of 2012 + the last 3 days of December 2011)!  I can remember back last December discussing with my daughter Hannah what I was thinking of taking on, wondering if I'd be able to think of things to do every day, wondering if I'd miss any days, wondering if I'd have enough to write about each night.  I'm proud to say that I did, in fact, think of something every day, did not miss a single day, and did have something to write about each night.  And today was no different.

     Continuing with the sense of symmetry I alluded to a few days ago, I decided to finish my year by going back to something I did on just my 2nd day (see that blog post here).  I delivered flowers to the very same nursing home in which I began the year.

     I had my daughter with me today and we went to Wegmans to pick out a nice mixed bouquet.  And believe it or not, I still have no idea what kind of flowers they were, except that they were colorful.  Originally I was going to find a stranger to give them to, but Hannah suggested it would be nice to go to a nursing home where there might be some lonely people who don't have anyone  with whom to celebrate tonight and who might get a real lift from receiving flowers.  So that's exactly what we did.

     We went to the reception area where there was a somewhat bored looking man in scrubs covering the front desk.  I explained that I needed his help and that I wanted him to choose someone who could really benefit from the flowers and that he should give them to that person.  He thought for a bit, and then came up with a name.  I left it to him to deliver them and we were on our way.

     I was a bit surprised to notice that I did feel something different this evening, having now completed my year.  Tomorrow I'll post a blog summarizing some of my thoughts and observations for the year.  For now, suffice it to say that I mostly feel proud and satisfied to have taken on such a significant and worthwhile challenge, and to have completed it with such discipline, commitment, and most importantly, intentionality.  More on that tomorrow . . . 

A Product Plug

     OK, this is going to be a little bit of a "product plug" as well as a kindness story. Recently I was reading a review on one of the running websites that I check regularly.  It was a for a product called ROLL Recovery.  It's basically a tool like a foam roller or rolling stick that helps to knead muscles after a workout to help  flush out the muscles and improve circulation, thus speeding up the recovery process.  This product, however, has a unique design that makes it work even better than previous tools.  For those of us who work out pretty hard, helping speed the recovery process is pretty important, as is trying to stay healthy.  

     Anyway, there were a number of elite runners who were raving about the ROLL Recovery, so I figured I'd give it a try.  But rather than buy 1, I bought 2 of them because I figured my brother, who works out like a crazy man, would probably appreciate using one as well.  I received mine last week and have been using it daily.  This afternoon, I delivered it to my brother who was eager to try it.

     It seems to me that generosity, while slightly different from kindness, has a pretty darn close link to it.  I think of generosity as the willingness to share what you have with others.  There are a few people I know who are tremendously generous.  They're amazingly quick to offer whatever they have to others.  While generosity unquestionably begins with a state of mind - a genuine desire to share or to give, I've noticed that there are some things we can do to facilitate generosity.  For example, a good friend of mine has a bookshelf on which he keeps multiple copies of many of his favorite books.  This makes it really easy for him to give them away when the situation arises.  Thinking to order 2 ROLL Recovery devices made it easier for me to give one to my brother without a second thought.

     As this year wraps up and I think about 2013, generosity is something I'd like to work on.  I may not choose as ambitious a project as this one has been, but I'll be working on it nonetheless.

Dunkin' Donuts and Symmetry

     Nearly one year ago, on December 31st, I wrote a blog post entitled "Wrong Place, Wrong Time."  It was the story of me trying to give away a Starbucks gift card on Main Street in Moorestown and ultimately realizing that if I wanted to do something nice for someone who didn't look exactly like me, I should go to the other end of town where there's a Dunkin' Donuts and a laundromat.  I ended up buying a gift card from Dunkin' Donuts and finding someone at the laundromat to give it to.  

     As I now approach the last few days of my "year of kindness," it feels right to go back to a few of the things I did to start the year.  I figure it creates a certain sense of symmetry for the year.  So that's what I did today.

     I went back to that same Dunkin' Donuts and bought a $5 gift card.  Then I went to the other end of the shopping center, walked into the laundromat, and chose a customer who looked like they might appreciate a nice surprise.  I walked up to a woman and asked her if she liked Dunkin' Donuts coffee.  When she said that she did, I offered her the gift card.  She was both surprised and pleased and thanked me multiple times.

     I'm a little embarrassed to admit that it wasn't until I got back into my car to drive home that I remembered that I had once again missed an opportunity to suggest that the woman "pay it forward" by doing something nice for someone else.  I've definitely gotten better about that throughout the year, but alas, I still sometimes forget.  

What's a Kiva Card?

     I've written multiple times this year, including a couple of weeks ago, about the amazing organization Kiva.org.  This is the organization that helps aggregate and distribute funds from thousands of people to create micro loans to thousands of small borrowers in third world nations.  Incredibly, in 2012, Kiva surpassed $380 million in loans to over 940,000 borrowers in 66 countries, all while maintaining a 99% repayment rate.  Traditional banks only wish they did as well.  

     Well I recently learned about a great way to spread the Kiva "opportunity" to help even more people.  Today I bought "Kiva cards" as gifts for my son and daughter.  It's incredibly simple to do and yet incredibly powerful as well.  You can buy a Kiva card as a gift for someone for as little as $25.  The card can be mailed or e-mailed to the recipient.  When the person receives the card, they simply go on the site and use that money to participate in making a Kiva loan.  The reason I'm so excited about this is that it gives Ben and Hannah a chance to experience the process of choosing a person to lend money to, helping to make that loan a reality, and then seeing the repayments come in over the ensuing months.  Hopefully this will start them on a path to making many more loans on their own.  What a great way to get people hooked.

     I love things like this because of its "leveraging" effect.  I'm giving a gift to my kids.  At the same time, they're giving a gift to someone across the globe, who in turn will be better able to take care of their own family.  And perhaps most importantly, my kids are getting a firsthand lesson on the power of kindness.  Can't beat that.  Gets me thinking about giving Kiva cards to many more people over the coming year.  What a great birthday gift, "thinking of you" gift, or celebration of anything gift.

Move the Garbage!

     Today was one of those cold, windy days where lots of stuff has a tendency to blow around into places it's not wanted or intended (i.e., shopping carts, garbage cans, papers, etc.).  As I was driving home from the movies this afternoon, I noticed a plastic garbage bag sitting in the middle of the opposite lane.  In fact, cars had to swerve a bit to avoid it.  So I pulled over to the curb, went across the street, and moved the garbage bag back to the curb behind a bunch of other bags to protect it from the wind and keep it from blowing back into the road.

     This is one of those small things I definitely would not have done a year ago.  Like most other people, I would have just assumed that someone else would take care of it.  It's amazing how many things fall into that category.  Things we figure someone else will take care of.  But if everyone assumes someone else will do it, there's no one left to actually do it!

     One thing I've tried to do this year is to be more action oriented.  By that I mean simply that when I see something that needs to be done, I try to just do it rather than waiting for someone else.  Hopefully it's becoming enough of a habit to carry over into the future when I'm not thinking about my blog each day.

Jackets, Hats, and Mittens

     Today's wet, cold, nasty weather got me thinking about how lucky I am to at least be able to put on some extra layers and find a way to stay warm.  It also had me thinking about how many people don't have such a simple luxury.  I decided that at least I could make a difference for a few of them.

     So my daughter Hannah and I went over to the local Target and went shopping for kids' winter coats, hats, and mittens.  We picked out a bunch of winter items like these, mostly for children between 18 months and 5 years.  Then we drove over to the offices of Twin Oaks Community Services (formerly  Family Service of Burlington County) and delivered them our purchases.  Twin Oaks runs literally dozens of programs to assist people of all ages.  Among those they serve, there are many children who hardly have a stable home, much less nutritious food to eat or warm clothes in the winter.  We were glad to be able to help some of them today.

     On a completely separate note, over the course of this past year of kindness, I've gotten to know a number of people around the country who are doing or have done similar efforts to mine.  In fact, one of them, Eric Winger of Oregon, is nearing completion of 2 years of daily kindness acts and blogging.  Today he wrote a great piece summarizing some of the things he's learned over the past 2 years.  I thought it was worth sharing.  Here's a link.

Family Time for Christmas

     Today was a day to spend focused on my family rather than on others, or for that matter, on myself.  That sounds like such a simple statement, and yet it brings with it a variety of thoughts.

     For most of the past 362 days (remember, I started 3 days early!), I've focused my attention on finding ways, large and small, to do a variety of acts of kindness for people outside my immediate circle of family and friends.  I did this purposely because I wanted to stretch my normal horizons and work on developing the habit of noticing and acting upon opportunities to put more kindness into the world.  By being focused outwardly, I of course ran the risk of failing to practice as much kindness with my own family as I potentially could.  I tried to stay mindful of this as best I could.

     Like no other day of the year besides perhaps Thanksgiving, Christmas is a day where most people are truly with their families. Virtually all businesses are closed, the streets are mostly empty, and Facebook timelines are filled with pictures of people, surrounded by loved ones, many of whom traveled great distances to be together.  Being a mixed religion family, the religious part of Christmas holds no particular meaning to me personally, but we've nevertheless created many family holiday traditions over the years.

     As I participated in some of those traditions today, I was thinking about our own children and the memories they'll have of these traditions many years from now, as well as the traditions they may carry on or create with their own families someday.  I tried to make sure that I was as present (no pun intended) as I could be for them today.  No matter how long we may have spent opening gifts, having a big brunch and a bigger dinner, it was a day simply to be with them.  

     While I'm keenly aware that there are families around the world, including many in the United States, who are suffering today, I chose not to think about others for one day.  To a large degree, I chose to be selfish today.  I chose to think about my own family right here in my own house, and to try to be the best father and husband I could be for them today.  

     Tomorrow, I'll think about others again . . . 

Xmas Spirit on the Road

     Today was Christmas eve and as I went out to do a few errands and later went for our traditional evening of pizza and bowling (!), I decided that I would try to do something very simple.  It was actually something I did on one of my very first days of this year.  As I was driving around, I simply made a point to look for every chance to let someone go in front of me.  

     If you've never tried this, it's an interesting exercise.  It's fascinating to start noticing how often we try to "beat" the other person to a spot - whether it's getting into a parking spot or getting to an exit ramp or getting out of a parking lot.  It's easy for me to get caught up in trying to get places faster.  What I notice most is that this mentality creates a certain amount of mostly unnecessary stress.  I get frustrated if I'm stuck behind a slow person or if I get held up trying to make a left hand turn.  When I slow myself down, and in particular, practice more kindness toward other drivers, it's as if everything somehow become less stressful.  I'm reminded that there's rarely any reason to be in such a hurry.  When I really work on this, I try to find chances to stop and let people make a turn when I can see they're waiting to find an opening in the traffic.  

     In some ways, I suppose, this is a bit of a metaphor for life.  When we slow down and practice kindness toward others, we usually find ourselves happier, less stressed, and in a better mood.  I'm not exactly sure why this is, but I tend to think it has something to do with getting out of our own lives and beginning to focus more outwardly.  In times of stress, I think we often get particularly self-absorbed, as if our problems are the worst ones in the world.  Doing acts of kindness causes us to think of others more than ourselves, and by doing so, we're forced to let go of our self-absorbtion.  It's an interesting phenomenon to ponder . . . 

A Surprise at Wegmans?

     I was heading to Wegmans this evening to pick up a few items that we needed and I was in the mood to do a little surprise.  Before I left home I took out a piece of paper, an envelope, and a McDonald's gift card.  On the note, I wrote "Enjoy this gift from a stranger!  Pay it forward."  Then I put the note and the card in the envelope.  On the outside of the envelope I wrote, "Please open and enjoy."

     As I entered Wegmans, I grabbed one of the handheld blue baskets that you use when you don't have too many items.  Then I surreptitiously took the envelope out of my pocket and put it in the next basket that was on the stack.  I stuck around the general area for a little bit, hoping to get a glimpse of whoever picked up the basket, curious to see what their reaction would be; but after about 5 minutes I went ahead and took care of the shopping I needed to do.

     After I paid for my items, I decided to go out the same door that I had entered so that I could check to see if the envelope had been taken.  Sure enough, it had!  I would have loved to watch how it transpired, just for my own curiosity.  Oh well, I'll have to be satisfied in the knowledge that someone got a nice surprise, and hope that they followed my invitation to pay it forward.

Helping Sick Children

     A couple of times this year I've written about a site I found in England (Post Pals) that facilitates the process of writing to seriously ill children.  For these children, who faces such daunting daily challenges, receiving mail from someone far away can be a real bright spot in their lives.  Well, today I found a similar site based in the US.  It's called Hugs and Hope.

     Similar to Post Pals, the site features many different children, all suffering from very serious illnesses, and gives readers an address where they can write to these children.  For each child, the site also tells some of their interests, the names and ages of their siblings, etc.  I chose a 15 year old boy who has had eye cancer since he was less than one.  I wrote him a letter introducing myself and connecting on a few topics that might be of interest.
     When you read the stories of some of these children, it's so hard to imagine how difficult their lives have been and often continue to be.  It's also hard to imagine how challenging it must be for their families.  Writing to them seems like such a small thing that any of us can do to make a difference.